Not going well

Things have not been going well at all lately. Things are piling on about CSU. Our backup plan is turning out to be a failure. And to top it off finals are next week.
Tonight my dumb self is staying up all night so she doesn't sleep class in the morning. I'm wishing there was someone to talk to but there's not. Craig is asleep and he thinks I'm mad at him. Everyone else on campus is asleep. I don't have my phone so people who are awake, I can't contact them. ugh. I just need something to happen, where everything is fixed and everything is solved and me and Craig can go to CSU and Craig will get a job with Dark Horse and out lives will be fine...
I'm also just highly upset because I came to the realization that I just suck at life. All of it. Even video game lives. I've found that I lose at everything. I have horrible strategy, I don't think, and I just can't win. Pokemon, I have horrible strategy and I don't think. Yugioh I have horrible strategy and I'm too stubborn. Any other game, I just suck.
I also choose the crappiest friends. And apparently the noisiest when they sleep. (Or wake up while I'm trying to sleep...) My roommate snores, moves A LOT and makes weird noises with her mouth that sound super gross. When she wakes up in the morning she is so LOUD. She has no regard for my sleeping. The water is on full, she slams all her doors/drawers shut....everything she can possibly do to make noise.
And I want to talk to Craig. I feel bad for getting mad for no reason again, and for going back into my abusive habbit....I blame it on all these things but, that's really no excuse. I'm going to marry him someday, do i want my children to think it's okay? No. I need to stop before I even start....
Gaia makes me mad too. It further shows that I fail at everything.

You know I intended this to be so that no one would see them. However, I want someone to see them. Even if it's a stranger. Thank you to whom ever reads this. You are greatly appreciated for taking time out of your day to read my pathetic rants. I wish I could get some reply though.

I also want my computer to stop freaking out. It whites out every now and again and it scares me. This is a brand new computer!

I have to go cry in a corner and not sleep for another 6 hours....thank you for reading if you did. Good bye...