Monday, May 7, 2012

Summer in Hawaii

 NOTE FIRST: I'm not sure how this was never posted, but it never was and I think it needs to be. I'm not sure when this was written, I just know it was some time a year ago.

So, so far I have been having a good summer break, regardless of what my recent posts may be telling you. My life isn't all bad, and I feel like I should update something good every once in a while, you know?

It's been almost a month since I got home, which means only one more month before I return to my baby. Which means I only have one more month to pay and work out college. :c I tried to work that out a week ago, but my adviser is on vacation. Ugh. So I'll have to call her when she gets back and hopefully we'll have that all worked out soon.

But for the happy news. I'm not pregnant, so that's a big plus. Though, I would like to have a baby I know I am no where near ready to handle that yet. So, thank you Lord for sparing me a whole bunch of disappointment and pain.

I talked to my dad about marrying Craig. And, he of course being a dad he wants whats best for me and even though Craig may not seem like whats best for me, he doesn't seem entirely opposed to the idea. So that's made Craig very happy, and me less nervous about marrying him. Now I just have to get through to Mom. I find her lots tougher to talk to. :/

Also, it seems as though I am constantly babysitting now. And it's paying a lot more than what I would normally be getting if I were to get a job. So, screw looking for a job anymore. The only down side to it is that I wont be able to put down the job experience on any resumes or anything. Just a bunch of babysitting. I would like to have the experience, but right now I just need the money. My mom payed off my housing deposit at school, and I told her I would pay her back. It was $300 and so far I have $270, if I counted right. I'm babysitting later today and it should bring me up to $300. Mom said that if I attempted to get a job while I was home she wouldn't worry about me paying her back. Well I'm wondering if babysitting counts. >,> I mean, if I have to pay her back I will pay her back. I would just prefer not to, ya know? xD
But I'm just greedy like that.

Anyway, I guess that's everything so far. Other than I appear to have made a new friend, although he's only online and across the country, but he is nice to talk to. I found him in the strangest way too. Oh well.
I guess I should be heading off now. I need to get ready to babysit.

Thank you so much for reading!

Arcana's first Christmas.

Arcana, a young girl with white hair and blue tattoos, awoke one early morning with a stretch and a smile. She went to her window and was surprised to find that it was hard to look out of. It was as if someone had come and covered it in a strange, white, translucent foam. It then occurred to her that her room was colder than normal. Awed by the foam on the window she wiped her hand over it and found the window become clearer, and the world outside appeared to be covered in a white blanket.
Surprised by all the white, Arcana ran to her host, the man she was staying with until she could learn to live out on her own. "Drake! Drake!" she called, running down stairs to his room, which was his living room. "Drake! There's something wrong with outside!"
The boy fell off the couch, "ouch... what do you mean?"
"There's a strange white blanket outside!"
Drake just looked at her confused, and then went to a window. When he saw what she was talking about he just laughed. "Arcana, that's called snow. It's frozen water that fell from the sky, and covered the ground."
The girl looked at him confused, "Frozen water that fell from the sky? First you tell me about rain, now you can tell me ice falls too?"
"Yes, of course it does," Drake smiled, "It's cold enough outside to where it can freeze the water." He patted her and looked at the calender. "Actually, it's gotten so cold because in a couple days a very important holiday will be here."
"A holiday? What one?" the girl asked.
"A holiday called Christmas," Drake responded, "Christmas is a holiday of great joy and giving. It's a holiday that Christians celebrate. It's a holiday where families gather together, friends spend time together, everyone treats others with kindness, and on the day of Christmas, people exchange gifts, and Children can't wait to see what Santa brought them."
Arcana was just in awe at what he was telling her. "Who is Santa?"
Drake smiled, "Santa is a man who travels the globe, giving presents to everyone who was good all year. Anyone who was naughty, however, gets a lump of coal."
"Naughty? I-I want presents, have I been good?" the girl was genuinely worried.
Drake did nothing but laugh and nod in response. "Yes, now, dress in something warm. We're going out and getting a tree."

After getting an explanation about why they were getting a tree and why they were going to decorate the house, they were on their way to find a good evergreen tree. Arcana, dressed in a white sweater and jeans, tried her best to help Drake choose a good tree. They found a nice, fat, green tree to take home. They bought the tree, loaded it up, and took it home. Drake set it up, Arcana having no idea what to do. She was still figuring out what this whole holiday was. She had come from a place where they didn't have snow, or cold, or Christmas. However, the whole idea was a wonder to her, she was loving it.
She watched as her host went to a closet and pulled out a box. As he opened the box it was revealed to her many different trinkets that showed sparkle, shine, and gleam. There were rope like things that glimmered and sparkled. There were little trinkets that resembled toys with little strings attached to them. Some resembled what Drake described to be Santa. Others were shaped like stars, wrapped boxes, and many assortment of things.  Drake explained to her that they decorate the tree with all of these decorations, as well as little lights on strings, which he pulled out of a separate box from the closet. He explained to her how they twist the lights around the tree, and she helped him the best she could. Once it was all wrapped around Drake plugged in the lights, and Arcana was surprised to see the entire tree light up with color.
"It's so beautiful," she said quietly, as she stared at the tree. Drake smiled and handed her the end of the tinsel.
"Here," he spoke softly, "We twist this around just like we did the lights. Wanna help me?"
Arcana couldn't refuse. She smiled and helped him wrap the blue tinsel around the tree with him. Once that was finished, Drake handed her a couple of ornaments and began hanging his own on the tree. They worked together to hang every last ornament on the tree, both of them having a wonderful time just spending their time together, creating something beautiful.
Once every last ornament was on the tree, Drake pulled out the final touch. "Now, we put on the tree topper," he smiled as he pulled out a beautiful star. Arcana could only smile at it. Once the man placed it at the top, he plugged it in and it lit up almost the entire room. The star was gorgeous, Arcana thought the tree didn't need anything but the star.
Drake could see her fascination and could think to do nothing but hug her. Arcana smiled, feeling very at home in his arms.

The next day Arcana awoke and went down stairs to find the tree still standing, still beautiful, even if it wasn't lit up at the time. What disappointed her was the fact that Drake wasn't sleeping on the couch where he should have been. In fact, he was no where to be found in the house. She began to be worried, what could have happened to him? She was frantically looking for him around the house when she heard the door shut. She turned to see Drake walking into the house, holding a rather large bag. He seemed to try to hide it and smiled as he went to the closet.
"What's that?" She couldn't help but ask.
"Oh, nothing," Drake replied as he shoved the bag into the closet. Everything was very suspicious, but Arcana had learned to respect people's privacy, so she let it alone.

Finally Christmas had come, and before Arcana could even wake up, Drake was in her room. She woke up to find him sitting next to her bed holding a wrapped box. "Marry Christmas," he said softly. He handed her the box. "Go on, open it." Arcana just looked at him, taking the box. She began to unwrap it, opened the box, and inside she found a nice, white, brand new scarf. Scarves were probably her most favorite accessory since she had come to Drake's world. She smiled, pulling it out, and wrapping it around her neck. "Now come downstairs," Drake started as he held out a hand, "Lets see if Santa visited us."
Arcana smiled, taking the man's hand. He led her downstairs to the tree, which had a little bit added to it. A couple of presents were placed under the three. Arcana smiled, rushing to the tree. She sat down and then stopped. She looked up to Drake.
"You know, I don't really need these presents," she said with a smile. Drake looked at her with concern, "Because, I realized, ever since we got this tree, that, the only present I need, is you." Drake could only smile. Nothing more was said, the two of them only sat next to each other as they held each other.

I need to write something good here

But I can't.
I never seem to have anything good to write here. So I'll just keep it short here.
My manager cut my hours this week. And I'm too afraid to call her and tell her I need more hours.
I hope I see her at work tonight so I can confront her then. And this is ridiculous. I'm gonna call her.


Alright so I called right? Well, it went to her voice mail. That means she's busy. Maybe she's at work already and I'll see her there tonight. I should have left a message, but I didn't. But I consider it an accomplishment that I even made the call, just like I made the accomplishment of actually answering the phone at work yesterday. I don't know why I fear the phone so bad, but I do. But I suppose I'm making steps to get over it.
But anyway, at least I made the attempt. And if she is busy I don't want to be a burden to her by calling her over and over. So, if she's not at work tonight, I will try again tomorrow and leave a message. Hopefully then she will give me a call back then. If still not, then she should be working on Thursday and when I go to get my pay check I will ask her then if she can be sure I work more hours next week. I cannot be working only three days with my pay check being what pays our rent apparently.

But anyway. I feel better after making that call. The only thing bothering my now is this sting in my eyes due to my roommate's cooking. I don't know what he does or how he does it, but every time he cooks there's always a smell, lots of smoke, and stinging in my eyes. But oh well, he's my only ride to work for now so I can't much complain about it.
Which reminds me I really need to start learning how to drive. But I seriously need my permit first. So this week when I get my pay check I'm going to stick with my plan of putting aside $200 for the rent and using what I have left for whatever I may need, which might be a permit. Hopefully anyway. It might be shampoo and soap instead.

Soon I also plan to confront my managers about getting me a full time job. This part time isn't cutting it.

Which reminds me. It's been brought to my attention that I should return to school. But not so much for actual school, but instead to learn a trade. If I learn a trade an I can go to school for only 2 semesters at the least and then I can get a job where I can earn more than minimum wage. The one problem is that I don't have an interest for any of the trades presented to me. I thought about cosmetology, first it was hair, then it was nails. I feel I could do nails much better than hair, but I dunno. It's much more of a possibility than hair.
My husband and I looked into going to Columbus Tech together. Perhaps I should just look at everything they have to offer and then decide if I can do it or not.
Also, my husband is still not sure what he wants either. He wanted to go to school as well, and he seems to have a much better idea of what he would like to do too. But I suggested the navy to him again, and I know he does not want to do that. Besides, I'm pretty sure it's just me being selfish to want him to go into the military just so I can live the way I'm used to.
For now it's up to him what he wants to do. I think going to school would be better for him. It would benefit him much more, because then he might be able to achieve his dream of publishing Strike. It's hard for him right now, with his work and everything. And I think school, honestly, would give him less time, but he would also be less stressed I believe. I think he can handle school much easier than he can handle his boss at work.
Ultimately it's up to him. As it is for me to decide if I want to go to school or not. Whatever happens, I know we need to start making more money. We were rejected for a credit card and a loan is our of our hands right now. So weather it's more school or more work, we need to get something done.

But I'm proud of my husband. Though slow, he is starting to get some drawing done. I try to make him work, though he just can't be forced to work. But he's trying to get himself out there and I'm proud. He's doing a better job than me at it.

Sorry this turned into a bunch of rambling from me. It was supposed to be good things, but yet again it just turned into me letting out my true, sad feelings. But at least it wasn't totally depressing. And I wasn't completely sad, I was just letting out some thoughts.
Thank you for reading. <3